More About Lori
Before they met, each believed that they would become adoptive parents one day. From the beginning, Christina and Scott felt that the birthparents of a child deserved as much attention and care as they themselves did as prospective adoptive parents. As they learned more about the adoption process, they became wary of agencies who might not fully inform a birth mom on all her options.
They recognized the birth mom as vulnerable and impressionable and at risk of being exploited. They chose Caring for Kids as their agency because of their exceptional care of and respect for birth parents. For Scott and Christina, a full "yes" from all parties, all well-informed and free to choose, would be the best for the most important of the parties - the infant.
They speak of the "beauty" that is possible in the birthmom/adoptive parent relationship, of the trust and collaboration that can develop if given space. They admit this is not possible in all adoptions but believe that it is possible in many situations. They consider the birthmothers of their two children as extended family. The baby was fully hers until she decided. And then she honored them with her choice. They describe adoption as a place "where joy and sorrow meet". This echos the voices of many adoptive parents who truly respect and have compassion for a birthmom despite how she may struggle after placing, despite her circumstances at placement.
Not everyone can handle those feelings… that their best day was someone’s worst. The Schnyders can speak from experience about the emotional roller coaster that hopeful adoptive parents can encounter. Their wholehearted belief that the birthmom needs time to make the decision that is best for her and her child stayed constant through 5 "almost moments". 5 times they came close to adoption, sometimes after bonding with both baby and birthmom. But those adoptions did not happen. Staying steadfast through those intense experiences, despite the concern of their extended family, made the "Yeses" of Caiden and Madison that much more sweet.
They believe that their kids can’t really know who they are without an understanding of who their birth moms are. That knowing whose "belly you were in" and having a relationship with that person is a right and "a link" to heritage, biology and a strong sense of identity. As questions and emotions come up that Scott and Christina don’t have answers for, Caiden and Madison will know who to ask.
The Schnyders see maintaining that connection as their responsibility as parents.